Not My Way
by dragonwriter24cmf
Summary: Set in the Second Season, when Yuri returns after Conrad reveals himself as a supposed traitor. Yuri is troubled by Gwendal's actions, and Gunter explains a few things to him. But when faced with the knowledge of what his Chief of State is truly offering, how will Yuri respond?


Not My Way

**Summary: **Set in Season 2 KKM. Yuri returns after Conrad is named a traitor. Gwendal kneels and offers himself. Gunter explains Gwendal's true intentions, to offer himself in punishment, and what it means, to Yuri later. Yuri thinks about it, and comes up with his answer.

"Your Majesty, is everything all right?"

Yuri sighed, then turned to face his adviser. "Yeah. It's okay."

Gunter nodded. "I see. But forgive my presumption, but you still seem troubled by something."

Yuri sighed again. "I guess. I mean...it feels weird, not having Conrad here, you know? But I don't want to mention it, because I know everyone is just as upset about it as I am. Plus...I guess I' still a little unsettled by everything else that happened today." He settled back to lean against his bed.

"You mean the report of the Box?" Gunter frowned. "I would have thought you'd be happy that we've located another one so quickly."

"I am." Yuri straightened. "And I really appreciate that everyone is coming along to support me. It's just...well, to be honest, it isn't the box I was thinking of."

"Indeed? Then what has you so agitated?"

"Honestly?" Yuri grimaced, then leaned back and stared out of his window, toward the Temple. "Actually, what upset me most today was Gwendal."

"Gwendal?" Gunter's voice was genuinely puzzled. "You mean, his greeting to you."

"Yeah. I mean, I've never seen Gwendal kneel, you know? I've never asked for that kind of formality, and he's never been that type of guy anyway. So seeing him on his knees like that...it was a bit of a shock. And then, the way he was blaming himself for Conrad, the way he was asking me to punish him...it just felt so wrong." Yuri swallowed, then drew his knees up until he was sitting on the bed, arms wrapped around his shins.

Gunter remained silent. After a moment, Yuri continued. "I feel like...well, like I did something wrong. I mean, why would Gwendal think I'd blame him for what Conrad did? Even if I thought Conrad really was a traitor, why would I punish Gwendal for it? The fact that he thinks I'd be that kind of ruler...it feels like I really screwed up. And I kind of wonder how it will effect things between us. I mean, if he thinks I'm blaming him..."

"I see." Gunter came around the bed and into Yuri's line of sight, then knelt before him. "If that's the case, then you shouldn't trouble yourself, Your Majesty." He shook his head. "Please rest assured, Gwendal does not think you blame him for Conrad. Now that you have made your feelings clear, I'm certain Gwendal understands."

"Maybe, but that kind of thing can be really hard to forget. What if he expects me to blame him for everything that might go wrong? How can we work together, if he feels like that?"

"I understand your concern, Majesty. However, please be reassured. What Gwendal said today does not represent his feelings on the matter. Or rather, at least not in the manner you suppose."

"Huh?" Yuri uncurled a little, blinking over the tops of his knees at his adviser. "What do you mean?"

"Gwendal doesn't believe you will blame him. In fact, it's the opposite, which is why he chose to do what he did." Gunter's face was solemn.

"I don't get it." Yuri uncurled the rest of the way, so he was facing the Royal Aide directly. "If he doesn't think that, then why did he say what he said?"

"It's a very old custom, Majesty, and one that isn't used a lot." Gunter's expression was sad. "It's known as Substitution."

"Substitution? What's that?" Yuri felt his hand tangling in the bed sheets. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Simply put, Substitution is a custom that allows a family member of an accused criminal to take that criminal's place. According to custom, if the substitution is granted, then the innocent family member accepts the punishment of the condemned, in return for a pardon or reduction of sentence on their behalf. Of course, the family member in question must have the authority to make such an offer, as well as a character that merits listening to such an offer. However, Gwendal fulfills both of these requirements, as Conrad's elder brother, and the Chief of State. He is also a faultless peer of the realm. Thus, he is very much able to make such a request."

Yuri grimaced. "I see. But...with what Conrad is accused of..."

"At present, Conrad stands accused of treason, as well as deliberately attacking you, the king. Both are crimes punishable by death." Gunter's expression hardened, turning stern.

"Then...Gwendal...he was asking me to kill him?" Bile rose in Yuri's throat, sudden nausea churning in his gut. "Seriously? But I...I would never do that!"

"And I'm sure that Gwendal is aware of your sentiments, Majesty. However, the custom does not require that maximum sentence be carried out." Gunter's head bowed. "You would only be expected to deliver the maximum sentence to Gwendal if you intended to use the custom to grant Conrad a full pardon. However, given the nature of the crime, I doubt even Gwendal would expect you to do such a thing."

Yuri swallowed hard. "Then what..."

"According to the customs of the kingdom, any punishment you give Gwendal gives him the right to ask for a reduction of Conrad's sentence. For example, if you were to dismiss Gwendal from his positions as Chief of State, or even Lord of Voltaire Province, and asked him to resign his position as your General, such an action would be considered grounds enough to change Conrad's sentence from death to exile. It might even be enough to give terms where the exile itself would be pardoned, and Conrad would be allowed to return."

"I see." Yuri looked down at the floor. "But...something like that...wouldn't it embarrass Gwendal?"

"Indeed. It would humiliate him a great deal. In addition, it would cause a great deal of trouble within Voltaire province. Gwendal has no children or paternal siblings, so the succession is unclear. The line would pass to a cousin, and there are few candidates." Gunter's voice was heavy, and Yuri could hear the pain in it. "However, if that was what Your Majesty decided, I have no doubt Gwendal would agree without hesitation. Not only out of loyalty to you, but simply because he loves his brothers that much."

"I know. But I...doing something like that...why would he expect me to do that kind of thing?" Yuri folded himself up again, curling defensively around his legs. "He wouldn't...really expect me to do that to him?"

"The other option would be to treat it as a military defection." Gunter's voice was rough.

Yuri blinked. "Because both Conrad and Gwendal are in the military?"

"Indeed. Military punishments are different from those used by nobles."

Yuri swallowed. "You mean, I'd have to demote him, don't you?"

"At the least. Typically, military punishments would also include either time in prison, or a public, physical punishment." Gunter's voice was soft. "For a common soldier, it would be a matter of choosing between a week in prison, followed by a certain amount of time on punishment duty, doing all the most difficult, degrading tasks. Or a choice of accepting a physical chastisement."

"Physical...you mean, like a beating?" Yuri's head shot up.

"Indeed. It's rare for anyone to choose that method of punishment. There hasn't been a public whipping in several years. However, the penalties in this regard are rather harsh. For a common soldier, it would be expected to deliver at least 30 lashes. For someone in Conrad or Gwendal's position, however, I'm sure the penalty would be much more severe."

"No way." Yuri's chest was aching. "Something like that...I could never do something like that."

"I'm sure Gwendal is aware of that, Your Majesty. In any case, Gwendal himself dislikes delivering such punishments, and has often refused to do so, so I'm certain he wouldn't ask it of you, even in such an extreme case as this."

Yuri buried his head in his arms. "Why...why would Gwendal...something like this..."

"I'm sure Gwendal didn't mean to cause you any distress, Majesty. If I may speak frankly..." Gunter paused, then continued, his voice soft and sad. "Gwendal is...he's a man who cares very much for those around him, regardless of how much difficulty he may have in displaying such emotions. I suspect that his actions were largely motivated by his desire to protect the younger brother he loves and cherishes so deeply. I know from experience that Gwendal would do almost anything to protect his family. In addition, I suspect Gwendal may have been attempting to ease your burden as well."

"What?" Yuri lifted his head to stare at Gunter.

Gunter smiled sadly. "Gwendal is...very aware of how much you respect and care for Conrad. Having had to deal with the issue of Gegenhuber, in the last war, he is also very aware of what it feels like, to have to punish someone whom you have strong feelings of affection for. In contrast, you and Gwendal have had a much more distant and formal relationship. He may have felt that, in offering to take Conrad's place, he was allowing you to release your anger in less painful circumstances. It's possible he thought that you would prefer to punish him, as opposed to someone as close to you as Lord Weller."

"What?" Yuri stumbled to his feet, his fists clenched. "That...that's ridiculous!" He felt his eyes burning, though he couldn't tell if it was anger or tears. "I'll admit, we haven't always had the most positive relationship, and there were certainly times when we were at odds with each other. I know we started off pretty badly. But still..." Yuri's memory flashed to their trip to Sevelera, when Gwendal had asked him to cut him with a knife, in order to escape. "Something like that...Gwendal should know better than that. I would...I would never do something like that to him. Not ever. I told him that a long time ago."

"Yes, well, it's not common knowledge, but even Gwendal makes mistakes in times of stress." Gunter shook his head. "Majesty...it's late. You should rest. After all, we have a great deal of work to do tomorrow, and a long journey ahead of us."

"I guess you're right" Yuri sighed and relaxed against the bed, then allowed Gunter to usher him into it. "There's not a whole lot I can do tonight. But...I will definitely talk to Gwendal soon."

"That's the way it should be done, Majesty. You can talk to him tomorrow after we board the ship. You'll both have plenty of time to air your feelings then." The Royal Aide smoothed Yuri's covers, then straightened. "Rest well, Your Majesty." Yuri nodded, and Gunter left, shutting the door behind him.

Yuri lay in the darkness staring at the ceiling, then allowed his eyes to slip closed.

***NMW***

Yuri slept, and dreamed.

_He was in his Maou form, blue fire and water dragons and ice swirling around him. Rage hammered through him. Rage directed at his enemies, at his betrayers, at..._

_ Conrad._

_ The Lord Weller knelt before him, hands bound, chains securing him in position. Knelt with the water dragons towering over him, and a faceless guard with a sword at his throat. There was no expression on his face, as there had been none when he had confronted them in the icy passes of Big Cimarron. _

_ His own voice echoed, terrible and distant in this nightmare scene. "Lord Weller. You have betrayed the fealty sworn by a knight of the realm to his king. Such a breach of oath is beyond dishonorable. Moreover, you have endangered lives. And last, but not least, you have broken your oaths to me. Far greater is this crime, that of broken blood and family. It is that for which I will sentence you above all."_

_ So much fury, and then the Maou's voice, his voice, dropped from anger to sternness. "However, for the sake of those who value your life, I shall also have mercy."_

_ Another figure was pushed forward, pushed to his knees beside the fallen lord. Gwendal, chained even as his brother was, stripped to shirt and pants and boots, his eyes dark and pained. _

_ His voice echoed over the field, even as a part of his heart screamed against it. "As your brother's love earns your life, so too shall your life earn his punishment. This then, is the sentence I command, that the two of you shall share the same fate." His hands lifted, eldritch fire and water swirling around him. "Justice be done!" And he brought his hands down._

"No!" Yuri snapped awake, sitting bolt upright in bed, his chest heaving. "Conrad! Gwendal!"

The darkness of the room absorbed his shout. Yuri shoved himself out of the bed, staggering towards the windows as he gulped in the cool night air. He was glad Greta had chosen to sleep in her own rooms tonight. Glad she hadn't been startled awake by his nightmare. He was equally glad Wolfram was elsewhere.

Yuri stared at the moonlight coming through the windows. The blue-white light reminded him of his dream. Of the magic of the Maou. Of what it had felt like, condemning Gwendal and Conrad.

The thought made him feel sick to his stomach. He sighed, trying to sort out his thoughts, but he couldn't seem to calm down. Instead, he began looking over the Castle, looking at little details to distract himself.

There was a faint light in the base of the tower. That would be the maids, preparing for the morning breakfast. He wondered what was on the menu, and knew it would be delicious.

Another light near the stables. Well, Dorcascos always left one on for the horses, just in case.

There was another light burning on the second floor, across the courtyard. Yuri frowned, trying to place it. That wing was mostly offices, so...

Offices. The Chief of State's office. Gwendal.

Gwendal was still up, probably sorting out paperwork and supplies and troops for their journey. Not to mention the thousand and one details that had to be arranged with so many of them leaving the Castle. Most of them would be solved by leaving Anissina in charge, but still...it was probably a lot of work.

He'd offered to help, but Gunter had said he needed to rest and prepare for the journey. Gwendal had pointed out, politely for him, that he still couldn't read and write that well in Mazoku language. If they wanted to move fast, then it was better for Gwendal to handle the paperwork than Yuri. Besides, Gwendal knew more about what they needed than he did anyway.

Yuri stared at the light, thinking about his dream, and his godfather, away somewhere. And his Chief of State, the general he'd grown fond of. Gwendal was gruff, sure, and sometimes short tempered, but he cared for those around him. And Yuri had seen him with animals, and with Greta, often enough to know that Gwendal had as much capacity to be gentle as he did to be harsh. He also knew Gwendal was an honorable man, a man capable of both justice and mercy, violence and peace.

Conrad was the same. Yuri himself was the same, though he had to admit that his Maou form had more in common with the two men than he did. Still...

Yuri shook his head, then pushed himself to his feet. He was never going to be able to sleep, not with everything all jumbled up in his head like it was. He needed to talk to someone. Before, he would have sought out Conrad to talk to. Or Wolfram. But Conrad wasn't there, and he didn't want to talk to Wolfram about this. Besides, Wolfram was likely long asleep, and he'd be no help.

Yuri glanced across the courtyard again, thinking. Then he turned and slipped out of his room, and into the darkened corridor beyond.

It was tricky, getting to the office without getting caught by the guards. Twice he had to duck back into a corner, and once he actually snuck into a room. Fortunately, it was empty. He supposed the caution was rather pointless, but he didn't want people asking questions, or worse, rousing the others.

After what felt like forever, he reached the door. He thought about just walking in, but he knew Gwendal hated being interrupted without warning. He knocked.

"Enter." Yuri took a deep breath, then pushed the door open and stepped inside, shutting it behind him.

Gwendal sat at the desk. To Yuri's surprise, it didn't look like he'd been writing. Instead, his hands were laced together in front of his face, as if he'd been thinking about something. Then Gwendal frowned. "I would have thought you'd be asleep by now. Surely Gunter told you you needed to rest." A small sardonic smile curled one corner of his mouth, edged humor in his eyes.

"Yeah. He did." Yuri moved forward. It was hard, looking at Gwendal, especially with the memory of his dream still strong in his mind. "It's just...well, I guess I couldn't sleep."

"And you came here?" Dark amusement colored Gwendal's tone. "I would have thought you'd have gone to Wolfram, or your daughter. Or even to the kitchens, perhaps for a glass of milk."

Gwendal was baiting him. He knew it. He'd learned that the Voltaire lord tended to get rather biting and sarcastic under stress. "I guess. But actually..." Yuri swallowed. "I wanted to talk to you."

Gwendal stared at him a moment, then rose and moved to stand by the window. He didn't quite turn his back on Yuri, and after a few seconds of silence, he turned around. "Very well. I'm listening."

"It's just...Gunter...he told me what you meant, in the courtyard today. That you wanted me to punish you instead of Conrad, so you could ask me to exile him or something, instead of...well, whatever the punishment is."

"The punishment for treason and attacking the king is death, at the hands of the first soldier or noble of the kingdom who gets the opportunity." Gwendal's voice was flat, but under it was pain.

"Yeah. Gunter told me that you were trying to get punished in his place, so that you could get that reduced to life in exile or something. Like maybe some task, like you gave Hube all those years ago." He hadn't thought of it before, but he knew Gegenhuber had been charged with breaking orders, something like treason, and causing the death of Susanna Julia. Everyone said he'd gotten a light punishment.

He wondered if Gwendal had paid a price for Hube too.

"I see. And did you come here because you've changed your mind? Should I write down my successor's name and surrender my sword?"

"No. You don't have to do that. Because..." Yuri bit his lip, then forced himself to meet Gwendal's eyes. "I still believe in Conrad. I know what he's done, and I know it looks bad, but...there has to be a reason. Some reason behind his actions, and I don't think it's because he betrayed me. It's just...it doesn't feel right. I mean, if he'd betrayed me, he could have easily killed me in that arena. Or he could have let us walk into those soldiers when we were trying to escape. Or he could have even let Adelbert kill me. If he really meant to betray me, then he had plenty of chances to hurt me."

"Yozak told me that Conrad himself admitted to acting on his sentiments, regarding the fact that you called him godfather."

"I know that...but...I still feel like we don't have the whole picture. And until then...until we know why he's acting the way he is...I won't declare him a traitor, and I won't condemn him." Yuri paused, then spoke the next words. "And I won't make you do it either."

He saw Gwendal's hands curl into fists. "You do realize, Conrart is a threat to you, and possibly to the kingdom. Can you really justify letting him go free without consequences?"

"I know, it seems like a really dumb move. And maybe it really is foolish and shortsighted of me. But still...you can't expect me to kill or imprison him without knowing the whole situation. Any more than you could expect me to punish you for what he did."

Gwendal looked sharply away from him, turning towards the window. It would have been an insulting gesture, if Yuri hadn't known the man had turned away to hide the emotions that were boiling within him. For all his stone masks and stoic demeanor, Gwendal was passionate about those he cared for. Brother, cousin, niece or king. Friend or subordinate.

Yuri continued speaking, giving Gwendal time to collect himself. "To be honest, it really bothered me, the fact that you asked me to punish you. I mean, it was like back when we were in Sevelera, and you asked me to stab you, just to escape. It just felt so wrong. I felt, well, I kinda felt disappointed, that you would think I was that kind of king. That I'd hurt someone who was innocent, especially someone I rely on and trust, just on some stupid whim or something, for my own convenience."

"That wasn't why I asked you."

"I know. I thought about it some, after Gunter told me, and I think I get it." He moved forward to join Gwendal at the window, though he stood at the other end of the desk. "It's because you can't stand being the one who might have to hurt Conrad, isn't it?"

"It is my job as your General and your Chief of State, to deal with him." The pain had returned to Gwendal's voice, sharp like a blade.

"But it really hurts you, doesn't it? Because, no matter what he does, he's still your precious brother, just like he's Wolfram's brother, and Greta's uncle, and Celi's son. And my godfather." Yuri swallowed, and blinked, trying to get rid of the moisture in his eyes.

"Even if that's the case, protecting you and this kingdom is my responsibility." Gwendal's voice had a sharper edge to it, almost cracking, and Yuri winced inside.

"I know. Even so...I want you to trust me about Conrad, okay? At least...just for a little while."

"If he attacks you, I have no choice but to kill him."

"If he attacks me, I'll take care of it myself." The promise hurt, but not as much as the idea of making Gwendal take his brother's life. "Look, I'll make it an order if I have to."

"Excuse me?" Gwendal turned sharply from the window, incredulous anger in his voice.

Yuri forced himself to turn and face his General. "You heard me. If I have to, I'll make it an order, that no one deals with Conrad but me." He set his jaw. "As long as there's even the slightest doubt, then I don't want him hurt or killed."

"And if the day comes when that doubt is removed? If it turns out that he truly is a traitor?" Gwendal's eyes were as hard as his tone, and in them burned the same fire Yuri had seen when they'd faced off over Hube.

Anger, pulled over an anguish so deep that it looked as if Gwendal might break from the force of it. Anger, to protect the warrior from pain, the way becoming the Maou protected him.

"If that day ever comes..." Yuri bit his lip a moment, then faced Gwendal and looked him directly in the eyes. "If that day ever comes, then I'll deal with Conrad myself. I won't make you do it, and I won't let you take his place either. And afterward, if you want to hate me, or resign, then that's fine. But I won't make you, or let you, be responsible for killing your own brother. I just can't do something like that."

A bitter smile twisted Gwendal's mouth. "You really think that _you_ could deliver justice to Conrart? You, who couldn't even kill an assassin who came for you, or a man who tried to kill you in the street?"

"I honestly don't know. On the other hand..." Yuri swallowed hard. "Do you think you could live with it, if you had to take his life? Or punish him otherwise? And would you really want to serve a king who made you do something so cruel?"

Gwendal's eyes flashed, his fists tightening. He turned away, his coat snapping with the force of his movement. For a long moment, Yuri thought he was going to storm from the office, or punch something. Then, Gwendal's shoulders relaxed, just the tiniest bit. After several minutes, Yuri noticed that his hands had unclenched just a little.

Finally, the Chief of State sighed, his shoulders dropping. "You might have a point. Very well. I will consider your words."

"Okay." His first instinct was to push the issue, but he knew something of Gwendal's moods. Even the fact that he'd calmed down and agreed to think about it was proof that Gwendal was listening to him. And maybe agreeing to trust him. And he knew that he was asking Gwendal to do something hard. Gwendal wasn't the type to leave the kingdom's fate in the hands of others, much less the fate of his brother. This had to be tough for him.

Gwendal sighed again, then turned and sat back at his desk. "It's late, you should try to get some sleep."

"You should too." Yuri blinked at the man.

"I'll sleep on the ship. It's better that way." Gwendal's voice was gruff, but the anger and the aching pain in it were gone.

He wondered if Gwendal really would sleep on the ship, or if Gwendal were at all sea-sick like Wolfram. He wasn't sure. He'd never actually sailed with the Voltaire lord before. Still... "All right. But you do need to get some rest. Knowing you, you probably have a lot of stuff you'll need to do when we get where we're going, and I'm pretty sure I'll need you." Yuri mustered a grin and rubbed the back of his head. "I mean, I usually wind up depending on you a lot, you know, so it's probably important that you be well rested too."

"Fine. I'll go to bed shortly. As soon as I finish with this." Gwendal gestured to the paper on his desk. "A task I'm sure I'll accomplish much faster without your presence."

The remark should have hurt, but Yuri felt relieved. That sounded like the Gwendal he knew, and he liked it far better than the cautious man he'd spoken to about retrieving the box, or the subservient one who had greeted him at the tomb and knelt at his feet.

He smiled again. "Okay, if you insist." He made his way to the door. He looked back, but Gwendal had his head bent over the paper, and his pen was working across it. Yuri smiled again, then ducked out of the room.

He felt a lot lighter as he made his way back to his room and curled under the blankets.

He didn't like considering the fact that he might have to kill Conrad. Or pass judgment on him. Still, it was far better than knowing he'd force Gwendal to kill his own brother. And besides...he was sure he could make things work out, somehow. And even if he couldn't, it was his responsibility.

He'd find a way to take care of things. He'd promised, after all.

_**Author's Note: **The scene at the Tomb of the Great One always did drive me a little crazy...hence this. I wanted to convey some of Gwendal's desperation, and Yuri's response to it. _


End file.
